Divinipotent About Mystery Milk in the Melting Pot

Today the average height of passengers on New York City's #7 line will increase and the average skin color will lighten as tall, milky-skinned tennis fans mingle with the beige, ochre, ruddy, and varied brown hues of Latino, East Asian, South Asian, Gael, Caribbean and African regulars riding the most ethnically diverse subway in the country's most ethnically diverse county. Then, in two weeks, the pale strangers will suddenly and mysteriously disappear, and all will return to normal.

Divinipotent About Monday Blues

Today, millions of Americans will be consumed by the grim realization that it's Monday and they have nowhere to go. A smaller number will find this idea liberating.

Divinipotent About Doubt

Today agnostics will be intrigued by church bells. Following internal debate, most will remain undecided.

Divinipotent About Saturday Headlines

Today newspapers will shift from screaming weekday headlines to smaller stories about human lives and local issues, triggering a two-day boost in relevance and readability.

Divinipotent About Threat Levels

Today I predict that despite evidence of political manipulation and general pointlessness, fearful Americans will lobby to maintain the Department of Homeland Security's color-coded terror alert system.

Can't get enough of terror alerts, you say? For a daily fix, scroll down to see Divinipotent Daily's handy Ministry of Fear widget.

Divinipotent About Depressing Headlines

Today I foresee an uptick in the susperstition index if one more accomplished, celebrated person dies this week.